The Misadventures Of Satou Kazuma
by KudaKo
Summary: A fantasy world. A world with magic, knights, mythical beast's and all the other fantasy tropes. Should be a dream come true for a Hikikomori NEET like myself, right?
1. Chapter 1

"Welcome to the afterlife, Satou Kazuma"

"H-Huh?"

A sound of pure confusion was the only thing I could muster in response. I looked around for the source, my eyes falling upon a girl on the other side of the barren room. She was a blue-haired beauty, her manicured nails tapping in sequence against the arm of her throne in an almost impatient manner.

I had no idea who this woman was, but she was without a doubt the most gorgeous girl i had set my eyes on. Easily outclassing the likes of models and idols. Curves placed in just the right places accompanied by a shimmering body of thick, azure tinted, hair and a pair of striking cyan eyes.

"The afterlife?" I parroted as I took in my surroundings.

It certainly didn't look like the afterlife. In all honesty, I have no clue what an 'afterlife' would look like but im fairly certain it wouldn't be just two chairs in a dark room with no other defining features to speak of.

"Yes, the afterlife, seeing as you died" The beauty announced formally.

I was about to refute her claim, considering I was quite literally still breathing, but my previous confusion had subsided a little and I was able to recall what had happened only a few moments ago.

I remember seeing a girl, someone I recognized from my high school, walk out into the road without noticing the looming truck-shaped shadow speeding towards her. The last thing I can remember before waking up here was lunging at her to push her out of harm's way. Just like that, it clicked. I must've died saving that girl, that was the only reasonable assumption I could make.

"I see…" I said finally. "Was she okay? The girl I saved; I mean"

Before my apparent death, I had lead a life of laziness and self-interest. Perhaps though, If I did save that girl, then I was able to achieve one good thing. Also, if she had died, then my death would be completely in vain. That wouldn't be good.

Hearing me ask this, the girl's lips started to quiver frantically, her shoulders were shaking too.

"Y-Yes! The girl lives! Even though she did fracture her leg" She answered, beginning to giggle like a school girl when she looked me in the eye.

I narrowed my eyes at the snickering girl, my face heating up ever so slightly under my skin. Was she? She was laughing at my death, wasn't she?! What sort of bitch does that?

"Wha- "

"But it wouldn't have mattered if you had pushed her!" She blurted aloud, continuing to laugh some more after her words. "It was just a tractor after all!"

"What?!" I exclaimed bewilderedly, gripping the arms of my chair in frustration.

"It wasn't a truck! It was a tractor!" She squealed with amusement.

Seeing her laugh so hard and so much at my demise made me want to give this rude brat a hard slap around the face.

Regaining my composure, a little, I inquired:

"So, how did I die?"

"You died of shock, had a heart attack right there and then" She replied, trying her best not to launch into another laughing fit. "Even the doctors and nurses were laughing at how pitiful you were! I've been doing this gig for a while but you're the first to die in such a bizarre manner"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear something so cringy!" I retorted as I covered my ears from her hurtful words

"Even your own parents laughed!" The girl cackled as he continued her verbal assault. "Your own parents~!"

"Shut your mouth already!"

Deciding she had her fill of fun, she sat up straight on her throne.

"Well, that ends my de-stressing session. Satou Kazuma. My name is Aqua, the Goddess of water. I am a deity that guides young people who die in Japan… Now, putting aside how funny your demise was, you have two options."

Even though I was ready to lunge at my verbal attacker, I decided to set aside my anger to listen to the mentioned options. At least for the moment.

"Option one would be reincarnating and beginning a new life on Earth as a baby. The other option would be staying in a place sort of like heaven that closer resembles the life of a pensioner at an old folk's home"

"Eh, how can a place be 'sort of' like heaven?"

"Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be" The apparent goddess explained. "No television, no manga and no games, there are only other people who died before you. Since you are dead, you can't do anything kinky because you literally don't have a physical body~. The only thing you can do is bask in the sun with your predecessors and chat. Forever"

That sounds horrible! No entertainment in any form except talking to my ancestors who would no doubt would berate me for wasting my private school tuition too play games. Sure, reincarnating to a baby isn't ideal but it's a heck of a lot better than that sham of a heaven.

"However, there is a third option!" She proclaimed grandly, standing up from her chair. "Do you like games? Of course, you do! You are a HikiNEET after all."

Before I could answer, and more importantly fire back by calling her a bratty bitch, she continued:

"What if I told you that there was a world similar to the ones portrayed in fantasy games and novels, a world that needs your help!"

"I would say; 'What's the catch?'" I replied with a raised eyebrow.

"For a useless NEET that died from shock, you sure are a perceptive NEET" She complained, ignoring my protests of the overuse of the NEET label. "This world is under threat from a villain titled the Demon King. The young men and women that die in that world refuse to be reincarnated in their own world due to fear of the Demon King and his army, therefore we are being forced to use young people from Earth such as yourself to keep the wheels turning, so to speak"

What a shit immigration policy, this world already sounded troublesome.

"You will keep your original body and memories, and we will also give you one 'Cheat'"

"A 'cheat'?" I echoed.

"A brilliant ability, a powerful weapon, a strong suit of armour" Aqua listed as she grabbed a pile of cards from seemingly thin air.

The woman then approached me, placing the bundle of brown rectangular cards on my lap.

"Take your pick"

Things seemed way to convenient, there had to be some sort of risk that she was purposefully hiding.

"One thing first; will I be able to speak the language of this world? Or write for that matter?" I quizzed, trying to avoid committing to something without fully knowing the situation.

The annoying 'Goddess' smiled deviously as she waved her hand in front of my face dismissively.

"That won't be a problem. With the powers of us gods, the ability to read and write will be automatically uploaded into your brain" She answered happily. The goddess then coughed awkwardly and continued in a much quieter tone. "Of course, there's the chance of your brain going poof but that's rare"

She just said something very strange. Very strange indeed. I narrowed my eyes at her, frown tugging at my lips.

"What do you mean 'poof'?"

"Don't know what you mean~. All you need to do now is to choose a powerful ability or weapon. Go ahead and look at the catalogue"

 **10 Minutes later…**

"Can you hurry up~?" The self-proclaimed goddess moaned as she lazily pushed a crisp into her mouth. "No one is expecting much from a shitty hikikomori nerd like yourself, it really doesn't matter what you pick"

"One, I'm not a nerd! Two, I died outside which therefore means im not a hikikomori either!" I fired back in a voice so shuddery it belied any confidence I had in the words I spoke.

I had been staring at the myriad of choices for a while now, each ability or weapon appearing to be just as, if not more so, overpowered than the last. With such a laundry list of broken cheats, it's easy to understand my dilemma.

"Ugh, whatever, Shit-NEET" The rude goddess sighed. "Just hurry it up already, I've got stuff to do"

I looked back down at the wide range of choices, but not before cursing that rude bitch under my breath.

So many damn choices… Okay Kazuma, think about this logically. An item or weapon can be powerful but it relies much more on the skill of the user than an ability would, and Im guessing I'll be pretty weak to start with. Additionally, an object can be stolen or lost while an ability can't be stripped from you. With this in mind, I should pick an ability.

Scanning my options thoroughly within those parameters, I found a certain entry that caught my eye. A familiar, perhaps somewhat cliched, entry.

"Hey, urm… Aqua, is it? Can you tell me about this one?" I inquired, pointing to the entry.

With a flick of her hair, the goddess stood up from her seat and walked over.

"Ah, 'Brainwash'?" The blue haired girl confirmed. "Well obviously you can influence people into doing what you order them to do, it's so effective in fact that people won't be able to detect it"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

The girl then rolled her eyes dramatically, as if to say; ' _Do I have to spell it out for you, you shitty NEET'._

"You know how in cliched films, when the big bad villain brainwashes someone, they basically become zombies right?"

I nodded my head.

"Well, with this ability, the person will act completely normally as to not make people around them, like their friends, suspicious"

"That's broken" I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck in thought.

"I know right!" The goddess remarked with a grin. "On top of that, you can even use this ability to have more lethal effects. You can make someone a complete vegetable for however long as you please with practice, and you can also use it confuse, disorientate and so forth. It's a very versatile skill!"

I hummed slightly, stroking my chin with the back of my finger. It seemed like a great power, but she seemed way to enthusiastic about it for someone who was trying to push me out of the proverbial door only a few moments ago. Im sure of it, there must be a hitch.

"Alright" I challenged. "What's the downside?"

"W-Who said anything about a downside?!" The Goddess retorted uneasily, fake smile plastered on her lips.

"I knew it, im not signing up for some monkey paw"

The goddess rolled her cyan eyes with an annoyed sigh.

"Such an annoying nerd… Alright, all the abilities come with their disadvantages. For example, the 'Creation' ability is directly affected by the resolve of the user. Something you have very little of"

"Hey, you bi-!"

"The 'Brainwash' skill has its own problems. Firstly, like most abilities, it needs mana to use. If you run out of mana, you won't be able to use it until you rest. On top of that, if you spam this ability exclusively for an extended amount of time, say a week, then you run the risk of going blind"

"B-Blind!?" I exclaimed.

"Oh hush, its only temporary… I think"

Oh, that's fine… Wait what?

"You think!?"

The goddess brung a finger to her lip, thinking for a moment before nodding passionately.

"90% sure"

For a goddess, she sure was an ignorant arsehole.

"Is there anything else?" I asked, head hanging dejectedly.

"Well… it's a single target so you can't control a group at one time… It has a small cooldown before uses…And the target needs to be sentient, so you can use it against animals, monsters and humans but not robots or the undead"

Huh. I can practically feel my blood simmering under my skin.

"You were going to send me into a dangerous world with such a defective skill!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"All the abilities have their problems you shit-NEET! It's called game-balancing!" Aqua screamed back, getting far too close into my personal space for me to be comfortable. "But It won't matter what ability you pick, you'll die on the first day in some pitiful way and come begging for my forgiveness~!"

Yeah, my bloods boiling now.

"Oh- ho! You wanna bet?! I'd be a lot better than you, I can tell you that!"

"No, you wouldn't you useless nerd! I am a literal Goddess, G-O-D-D-E-S-S" Aqua yelled, grabbing the collar of my tracksuit.

"Self-proclaimed! If you were a half-decent Goddess then you would be able to give abilities that weren't completely flawed" I snapped back. "In fact, im so confident id be better than you that id be able to do it with that flawed 'brainwash' ability"

"We'll see about that then!"

Before I could figure out what she meant by her words, a cobalt coloured barrier surrounded me.

"Have fun in your new world, Satou Kazuma!" She guffawed evilly.

Aqua raised a silvery staff with a budding rose on the end, the sigil on the floor beneath me obviously responding to her command as it began to glow with holy power.

However, before I was whisked away to my new world, I saw the very same shroud that was surrounding me enclose around the very Goddess that I thought was casting it.

"Huh?"

A burst of amber appeared from the ceiling, and a winged woman descended from it. She seemed way more 'Goddess'-esque than the blue joke that greeted me upon my death.

"Aqua…" The winged woman addressed. "The higher-ups within heaven have noticed the poor treatment you have given the souls you've ferried to the new world, non-more so than this poor boy here"

Ah… An actual Goddess here to protect me. Thank goodness.

"As punishment, you will accompany this boy in his quest to defeat the Demon King"

Ah… Thank you Miss Godde-… Wait hold on a damn second.

"What? … What did you just say?" Aqua said listlessly, confusion as clear as day on her face.

Finally noticing the glowing magic beneath her slender boots, Aqua squealed in surprise.

"Y-You can't do this! I demand a rule-check!" The wannabee Goddess panicked in a tone painful for my ears.

The angel didn't seem all that concerned with the girl, instead continuing to explain the situation.

"Once Satou Kazuma defeats the Demon King, you will be allowed back to continue your job as a Goddess. Hopefully by then you will have learned some humility. In the meantime, I'll take your task on in your stead"

In all honesty, seeing Aqua, who had treated me so poorly, get punished was great fun to watch. However, I didn't want my fate intertwined with her whatsoever.

"Urm Miss Ange- "

"Satou Kazuma. You will be heading to another world now and become one of the candidate heroes to defeat the demon king. If you and Aqua are able to defeat the Demon King, you will be rewarded with a great gift"

"A gift?"

The angel flashed a warm smile at me, causing my poor hikikomori heart to start pounding.

"That's right, a gift befitting a hero… You will be granted a wish, it can be anything your heart desires."

With that wish; I could a live in Japan, be as lazy as I damn well pleased, all the while surrounded by beautiful women.

Yes… This wish was worth it. Even if it meant putting up with the crazy-bitch-ess.

Speaking of her, she was now in full emotional meltdown. She pounded the barricade with limp wrists, tears pouring from the water Goddess' eyes.

Seeing this sight, I couldn't resist letting out a maniacal chuckle.

"How does it feel, to have your godly status hinging on the man you continually berated?!" I crowed as we started to ascend upwards to the large warp pool, near where the angel appeared from. "Since you are a goddess, use your godly powers to make my life as easy as possible!"

While she seemed like the useless sort, she was still a Goddess. She must be some use in this dangerous new world, right?

"No way~! I don't want to go with this guy, no way~!"

Just before the white abyss swallowed the two of us whole, I heard the Angel say her parting words with a devious smile pointed at her fellow Goddess.

"Hero! May you, for Aqua's sake, be victorious among the many hero candidates, and become the one to defeat the demon king… Well then, I bid you farewell!"

Then, just like that, we were gone.

 **Authors Notes (Please read fam):**

 **Thanks everyone for reading the first chapter in 'The Misadventures of Satou Kazuma'. My name is Kuda and I mainly do Danganronpa related stuff but I watched Konosuba earlier this year and I've pretty much been hooked ever since, leading to where we are now.**

 **Just at the end here I wanted to take the opportunity ask and explain a few little things.**

 **First off, this story will probably just be the main 4 dicking around the world of Konosuba, nothing too serious. There are times where the tone might change or get serious if the plot calls for it, but it will mostly just be Kazuma n friends having a fun old time. Honestly, don't take this story too serious.**

 **Speaking of plot; I've got a lot of ideas for this. So, you may have noticed that I gave Kazuma a new little ability, I wanted to give my story something a little different, rather than it just being a Konosuba copy-paste. I just feel like the extra ability gives me a little more space to be creative. In regards to future plot, the story won't be following the original LN's exactly but I definitely want to use events from the LNs and give them a little twist, for example im already thinking about ideas for when they meet Verdia the Dullahan.**

 **Now for some quick questions:**

 **What ships do you want to see? Like do you want to see Harem? Or Kazuma with one girl in particular? I like pretty much all the girls in their own ways.**

 **Did Kazuma or Aqua seem out of character? As I've said this is my first-time writing Konosuba so I definitely don't have my characterisation down to an art, in addition to the problem that im also a mediocre writer at best to begin with.**

 **(kinda unrelated to this story) Would you guys wanna see some one-shots? If so perhaps slide in my DM's and give me a ship or scenario. I'd be interested in doing some one-offs.**

 **Anyways, I think im done. Don't worry, A/N segments won't be this big in future. Please comment and fav if you enjoyed so I know where im going with this inevitable train-wreck.**

 **Have a good weekend ladies and gents, hopefully I'll see you soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

 **Really sorry for the long wait lads!**

 **I was stressed for a good while waiting for my exam results but I barely managed to get into my uni of choice so that's a relief. After getting my results, you can probably imagine that I celebrated and perhaps said celebrations stretched on a lot longer than expected. Like. 3 weeks.**

 **Nevertheless, I apologise for the long ass wait and I will strive to make the waits shorter in future.**

 **Enjoy!**

My eyes were assaulted by a divine light so vivid that it forced me to clamp my eyelids down tightly. When I opened them again, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. After blinking a few times, confirming that what I was seeing was indeed real, I let out an astounded gasp.

The dingy room we were previously in had been replaced by quaint cobblestone streets and grassy pastures. It was like the type of idyllic countryside you would see on the front of a postcard with the tagline 'wish you were here' on it. Still only barely registering what I was seeing, I looked to my left to see that the cobblestone path led to rows of red-brick houses surrounded by a sturdy stone wall. Towards what Imagined was a town, I saw a large oak sign with the words 'Axel- A town for beginners' in ice white written upon it. It was like I had stepped into medieval Europe, it was astounding.

"No way…" I breathed with an unabashed grin. "…A new world…"

I then naturally looked to my right to see what else I could spot, only to have my view ruined. The Goddess, her head hanging dejectedly low, was snivelling far too loudly for me to enjoy the new interesting sights in peace.

"Oi, your being way too noisy" I accused, narrowing my eyes on the girls back. "First impressions are important, I don't want to be seen associating with a crazy woman on the fir-"

Before I could I finish, the Goddess earned the 'crazy woman' title by pouncing towards me with teary eyes. The psycho started grabbing at my tracksuit, trying to scratch at my face with her perfectly manicured claws.

"H-Hey! Get off me!" I snapped, putting my palm on her forehead to keep her, quite literally, at an arm's length.

"You idiot!" She shrieked, hands flailing in the air. "Now I can't get back! I don't belong here!"

"It's not like it's my fault! Perhaps you should've been less of an arrogant bitch!"

Hearing my words, the girl glared daggers before launching herself forward again with the intent of strangling me. She wasn't getting anywhere and quickly gave up, resolving herself to pathetically pawing at my chest while on her knees. Even though she had treated me poorly, seeing her weeping face look up at me with panic and confusion made me feel a little bit of pity for her. Only a little though. With a heavy sigh on my part, I removed my palm.

"Calm down Goddess, we get nowhere by trying to scream our problems away. We should look for an adventures guild and try to get some information" I suggested calmly, patting the girl's shoulder in a way that I hope came off as soothing rather than creepy.

At first, the girl looked at me with suspicion. Her set of electric blue irises darting around my face, trying to decipher if I was seriously helping her or just playing a cruel joke. I smiled awkwardly, uncomfortable with the fact that I was being scrutinised so intently by a girl who was kneeling at my feet. A problem only exacerbated by the fact, even when red-eyed and pouting, she was rather cute. It's not like I have a crying fetish or something silly like that, im not some degenerate.

"Aren't you supposed to be a Hikki-NEET? The type of person who constantly fails at life? How are you being so cool and calm?"

"Oi, less of the NEET label" I noted to her with a frown, helping her up. "Anyways, let's get going"

After helping Aqua to her feet, I started to set off down the road towards the previously mentioned town. Logically speaking, the best place to try to find an adventurers guild or an equivalent would be a town centre.

"Kazuma, though I approve of being called a Goddess, perhaps you should call me Aqua in public. I am a revered deity in this world after all" Aqua suggested as she followed behind me obediently.

"Will do" I agreed, still trying to fully absorb my surroundings. I don't know if it was my mind playing tricks on me but im pretty sure one of the people we passed by a moment ago was an Elf. He had pointed ears and exceedingly pale green skin, the signature aspect of an Elf, but it was all a bit surreal to accept seeing an Elf as fact.

Speaking of people, we were getting some very weird glances directed at us once we entered the gates of the settlement. I suppose it's understandable considering the appearance of a tracksuit must be pretty foreign to these people. Maybe I should look to change my outfit soon.

"Hey Aqua, where do we need to go to find the guild?"

"Beats me" She replied, blinking dumbly. "Like I'd know where every lowly place is in this world"

Sheesh, she really was useless.

Having no idea how to navigate the town, I decided to ask a nice looking old lady at her stall for directions.

"Ur… E-Excuse me Ms, but where would we have to go to find an adventurers guild?"

The elder smiled sweetly.

"The guild?! To not know where the guild is, could you be from out of town?"

"'You're right, me and my friend here are from a faraway land" I explained in the most confident tone I could muster. "We only just got into town"

"Oh! How exciting! You must be new adventurers then; may Eris bless your careers" The elder said happily, bowing at us.

I bowed back deeply, offering my thanks. Next to me however, I could practically hear the strident sound of Aqua grinding her teeth with a quite obviously forced smile. Seeing this, I quickly pulled her by her arm too pull her into a bow that mirrored my own. She reluctantly gave her thanks too, but not without murmuring something under her breath. Something about a 'God blow' and…breast pads?

"Simply go down the street, take the second right, then the third left and you will see it up ahead. It's a grand old building, you can't miss it"

"Thanks again! See you!" I waved as I pushed the misbehaving girl away from the stall.

Now back on the street, I turned to my companion.

"What was that about?"

"Eris. She gave us the blessing of my student Eris" She answered reluctantly, grimacing at the name.

"And whys that bad?"

"It's embarrassing!" She shouted back in a tone that made it seem like what she was saying should be common sense. Common sense being something this Goddess lacked in abundance. "It's like if a student congratulated their teacher for teaching a lesson well"

I opened my mouth to argue, but promptly closed it in resignation. Arguing with someone so thick-headed was a thankless task.

The two of us followed the old woman's directions, soon finding a building that suitably fitted the grand description given to us. A large navy crest with an ornate golden design in the centre accompanied by a round stained-glass window were the most distinguishable features on the red-bricked building.

"Looks like the place" I thought out loud, as I pushed open the bulky oak door.

Upon entering, my face was greeted by the sweaty pectorals of an absolute beast of a man.

"Well, would ya lookie here" The mans voiced boomed as he backed up to give me some space, something I greatly appreciated. "I aint seen those weird clothes before boy, I'm guessing you're not from around here are you?"

The man, probably somewhere in his thirties, wore what I assumed were the medieval equivalent of cargo jeans and a pair of faded pink suspenders connected to some steel shoulder pads. That was it, no shirt or anything. This guy was calling my clothing weird when he looked like he belonged in a male strip club, what a damn hypocrite! Clothing aside, he did give of the vibe of an adventurer what with his burly frame and prominent russet mohawk.

"Yeah, your right" I answered coolly, trying my best to give off a cool vibe.. "Only just got into town an hour or so ago, came here in the search of adventure and money"

There was a pause while the man studied me, looking me up and down much to my dismay. After a moment though, the man grinned with a hearty laugh.

"If that's the case, welcome to the gates of hell rookie!" He thundered while patting my back with the bear paw he had for a hand. "Go see Luna at the counter in the back, pay the admission fee and she'll sort your card out for you"

With that titbit of information, the man gestured his farewells and exited the building.

My blue haired companion and I paled slightly at the mention of an entry fee.

"Did he say, 'admission fee'?"

"I think so, yes" I replied, massaging the bridge of my nose.

An admission fee, a formidable task for broke adventurers such as ourselves.

"Actually, thinking about it, shouldn't you have some starter equipment and money for me" I asked the self-titled Goddess.

The girl shook her head, a blank expression plastered on her face.

Needless to say, so far she has failed to change my beginning impressions of her.

"Just how are we going to pay that fee then?" I mumbled in thought.

Then it struck me, like a bolt from the blue. I had the exact ability needed for this type of situation.

"Hey Aqua" I whispered as the two of us walked through the dimly lit guild, no doubt accruing attention from the other members, to the back where the counters were. "How do I use my ability? Do I need to chant anything or something to that affect?"

"The skill was designed to be used on-the-fly" She explained in an equally covert tone. "You should be able to use it at will with no incantation needed, just aim your eyes at the target and then think about triggering the skill and then they should be under your influence"

As we approached the desk, I made a small signal to Aqua to leave the talking to me. The girl bobbed her head, giving me an encouraging beam of a smile that was infuriatingly appealing. Acting like this, I could actually maybe believe she was in fact a Goddess.

I walked up to the desk with confident strides to be confronted by a gorgeous older woman, a partnership of wavy dirty-blonde locks and a large dose of cleavage giving her a more mature look than my companion. Definitely to my tastes.

"Good morning, how may I help you?"

"Me and this girl want to be adventurers" I replied calmly as I casted a hand to Aqua.

The woman smiled gently, grabbing two sets of cards from her desks.

"I see. There will be a registration fee, will that be okay?"

Alright, now was the make or break moment.

I breathed in deeply whilst aligning my eyes with hers, trying to concentrate and clear my mind in doing so. Once I was certain I was ready, I envisioned activating the skill. Immediately after doing so, a wave of discomfort washed over me. A dull throbbing emanated from the backs of my eyeballs, not so much soreness that it caused me to yell out in pain but enough to force my lips into an unpleasant grimace.

It was only for a couple of seconds, but the pain was very much noticeable. The Goddess wasn't joking about the potential blindness with overuse thing, not surprising that it would cause such a defect given the immediate side effect I suffered after just a singular use.

There was a long pause as I worriedly waited for some sort of confirmation of the skill working. Though not an explicit sign, the woman was staring at me blankly, almost like in a trance-esque state, and hadn't said anything since I triggered the skill. Taking that as proof, I spoke to her evenly;

"But we've already paid the registration fee"

There was another pause, this one being not nearly as long however. The blank expression dissipated as quickly as it set it, giving way to that gentle smile that she wore originally.

"Oh! Of course, silly me" The woman commented bashfully with an apologetic wave of the hand. "Im usually so on the ball with remembering stuff, my mistake"

"I-Its fine!" I muttered back, taking a second to sigh in relief.

Though I felt slightly bad about deceiving the undeniably cute assistant, I couldn't help but marvel at how well the skill worked. Though the ability came with many a deficiency, I had to admit that it certainly could have its uses. Who knows, perhaps I might get to a certain level of proficiency where the drawbacks become a moot point.

The counter-lady quickly made a gesture to the two of us to follow her, taking us to a large orb with a thin needle attached to its base. Giving us one card each, the woman cocked her head to the side in a cute manner.

"Please fill in your details such as weight, height, etc" She instructed as she turned the contraption on. "Meanwhile, I'll give you a quick explanation of the guild and adventuring in general"

The two of us stood to attention, making sure to listen carefully. I did have pretty good knowledge of games and such but that didn't necessarily mean I knew this world inside out.

"Adventurers are responsible for the extermination of the monsters from the nearby habitats, you may also be asked to participate in raids or other quests in defence of Axel. Under the adventurer title, there is plenty of different types of jobs such as Arch-Wizards or Thief's so there's no shortage of choice, but some classes do involve some stat requirements" She explained as we handed back the cards with our details.

"Speaking of stats and how to improve them, all things in this world have souls. No matter what form it takes, if you eat or kill a being, you can absorb a part of the memory of the soul. This is known as 'Experience Points', which is the way to level up in order to get skill points to get stronger. These cards will track your level and your skills as well as your basic information"

"So, it's basically a driving license?" I asked on an impulse, forgetting the medieval-esque setting I was in.

"A what now?"

Luna blinked at me confusedly, giving me an understandably weird look.

"Eh? Oh, nothing" I shrugged.

The woman looked at Aqua as if to ask if she knew, but the so-called Goddess followed my lead and gave her own bored shrug.

"Anyhow" Luna said, obviously trying to move things along. "I'll run these through the machine now and you will get your stats and information"

Luna did as she said, taking my card first and placing it below the needle. There was barely a moment of delay before beam of light shot down from the point of the needle, the laser criss-crossing across my card until coming to an abrupt stop.

"Satou Kazuma…" The clerk announced.

As she studied the card, I couldn't help but feel a strange feeling of excitement bubble up from within. This was it, my time to shine, my time to step out of my Hikikimori shadow and finally enter my popular period. Brilliant adventures and beautiful women awaited me in this new world!

"Average across the board"

"What'd you say?"

What she said can't be right, right?

Im not some fodder character am I?

Am i…? Am I a Krillin?

Seeing my hanging jaw, the clerk quickly continued.

"B-But you do have higher than average Intelligence! And you have the highest luck stat I've ever seen!" The woman blurted loudly, before continuing in a polar opposite whisper. "Of course, luck isn't very useful for an adventurer"

I stared at the large-chested woman despondently as she glanced down at my card, meanwhile I could hear Aqua trying valiantly ,but failing, to hold in her laughter.

"With these stats, I'd suggest becoming a merchant…Considering the only class available is the Adventure class…" Luna said with an awkward smile, trying her best to let me down gently.

Aqua on the other hand…I could hear giggling to herself behind my back. A sound that sincerely made me want to dole out a backhand of justice.

"I'll be an adventurer then…" I managed to say without cringing myself to an early grave.

Luna smiled sympathetically before finishing my documents, all the while explaining that the adventurer class did have its strengths. However, Aqua took it upon herself to systematically shoot every good point the class had down. I would've got mad at her, but at this point my morale had hit rock bottom so I couldn't be bothered.

"Oh my god! These stats are amazing Aqua!"

No, never mind. Now I've hit rock bottom.

Luna continued to rave on about how, apart from awful intelligence and luck, Aqua was phenomenal across the board. Of course, such a proclamation garnered the attention of the other members and soon enough waves of cheers rippled through the spacious guild like raindrops hitting a puddle.

Meanwhile, I sat in the background, feeling rather envious. Aqua smug smile didn't exactly help.

No matter, I'll find a good ditch to roll her into later.

"Though the likes of arch-mages are off the table due to your low intelligence, pretty much all the other high class specialisations are available" Luna told the infuriatingly bashful Aqua. "Crusader, Sword Master, Arch-Priest, Et cetera"

With what I could only describe as a 'shit-eating grin', Aqua waved her hand regally in a dismissive manner.

"Since Goddess isn't a class, I'll be the most divine of Arch-Priests"

This announcement caused another wave of cheers with Aqua at the epicentre.

While the room erupted and Luna went about busying herself with finalising Aqua's details, the now Arch-Priest sashayed towards me cockily.

"Soooo~, Mr. Adventurer…" Cooed Aqua before flicking her adventurer card against my nose lightly, as if waving her perceived superiority in my face. "Wanna go find a place to stay the night!?"

My eye twitched, a feeling of rage bubbling under my skin, however, I stopped myself from acting at on this urge as first impressions are important and everyone had their eyes on the two of us now. Instead, I begrudgingly nodded before leading my blue-haired companion out of the door.

 **A/N:**

 **Just wanted to take this time at the end to say thank you for the honestly fantastic reviews and support I've gotten thus far, and I pray that it continues as nothing works better for motivation than seeing you enjoy this!**

 **I know this chapter was kinda boring and exposition heavy, I just wanted to get all the bullshit outta the way. Next chapter youll see this story start to diverge more from the original story. Speaking of next chapter, I wanna update my DR fic next but you shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter of this (I guess ill call it MSK for short). I will be busy the next week due to freshers week and just generally settling in at my dorm, but I should be able to get a good amount of work done before I leave and during that first week.**

 **Anyways, thanks again for all the love, have a good one lads.**


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